Man. I usually don’t try to pretend I’m a high and mighty food altruist. Let’s just say that the philosophy of Cheap Eats and environmentally friendly vegan idalism do not mix well. But anyhow, I never found anything remotely interesting about Foie Gras, otherwise known as duck (or goose) liver. I hate liver, for one. Sure, I’ve seen the Iron Chefs use bushels of it in cooking. It’s like a race to see who can whip out the liver first.

Cheap Eats Hall of Shame, say welcome to your new member.

Even for someone not knowing anything about Foie Gras, a person looking at those mealy boulder sized chunks they use on cooking shows would probably think … this thing came from a DUCK? That’s exactly what I thought. I thought maybe it was some sort of Gigantic species of dinosaur duck or something. Well, they actually get the duck livers that big by pumping enormous quantities of food into the stomachs of the birds, thereby causing their livers to expand to huge sizes. Gag!

Foie Gras merchants tend to disagree with this, saying that because of the way a duck swallows food normally (as in swallowing large fish), it’s perfectly normal for the birds to have huge quantities of food placed in their esophagus. Uh, yeah.

In any case, rather than get between the feuding sides, it’s pretty easy for me to draw the line in the sand just over the price. Foie Gras is not cheap eats. It is not even cheap luxurious eats. It costs a pretty penny… I’ve seen it sell for anywhere from $20 a pound to $150 a pound (I believe for certain Goose Foie Gras).

Did I just say $150 a pound? Geewizzer. I don’t think I have to use jedi mind tricks to convince you that giving up this fatty duck liver won’t ruin your day. It’ll certainly make your wallet happy. And maybe a duck or two.