There’s about a billion ways to make Pasta with Ham. Ham is a really resiliant form of Cheap Eats because it lasts so long in the fridge. This goes for both packaged ham steaks and for larger whole hams. My absolute favorite thing to do is to make this near the holidays, like Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Easter. Why? Because someone ALWAYS makes a whole ham and I’ve never been to a family gathering that didn’t have leftovers from it. Usually, the relatives have to cajole someone to take home some of the ham. I’m the first to signup, however. Leftover ham also makes great fried rice, sandwiches, etc. The below recipe assumes storebought ham, but subtract 75 cents from the final price if you can get it for free!

Pasta with Ham and Parmesan

Cubed Ham (1/4 of $3.00 hamsteak) — $0.75
Any Dry Pasta like Rotini (4 oz of $0.99 8 oz bag) — $0.50
Parmesan cheese (1/4 oz of $3.50 8oz can) — $0.11
Olive oil (1 tbsp of $4.00 12 fl. oz bottle) — $0.17
Butter (1 tbsp of $1.00 4 oz stick) — $0.13
Milk (1/2 cup from $4.19 1/2 gallon lactaid) — $0.26
Chicken Stock (1/2 a $.50 can) — $0.25
Brown Onion (1/8 a $.50 onion) — $0.06
Parsley (1/4 cup chopped from $0.69 bunch) — $0.06
Salt / pepper — negligible

Total: $2.29

Get a large pot of water going on the stove. Meanwhile, mince the brown onion and parsely and cube the ham. In a large skillet heat olive oil and add ham. Cook for 2-3 minutes or until browned, then add brown onion. Cook for another 2 minutes. Turn up heat to high and deglaze the pan with chicken stock and milk. Reduce heat and simmer mixture for 5-10 minutes. Watch out for the mixture foaming up too muich. If that happens, reduce the heat. When water boils, salt it and add macaroni. Cook till al dente then drain (don’t rinse or sauce won’t stick to pasta). Add pasta to skillet and toss well. Add parsley and parm cheese and cook for about 1 minute more. Off heat add butter, salt and pepper to taste. Mix and serve.

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Part 3 : Banquet Fried Chicken Meal
Well, since the Salisbury Steak debacle was fresh on my mind, I was looking forward to trying their “Original” Fried Chicken Meal which is I guess their bread and butter offering. You’ll notice that the box is ripped because I was so hungry to try it out that I forgot I needed to take a picture of the packaging. In any case I wasn’t disappointed at all for this one. I made it in the oven like the others, and 24 minutes made some a really crunchy chicken thigh (kudos for them for using dark meat as well) that rivals Popeyes or even KFC. The fact that it’s only a dollar is the icing on the cake

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I’m starting up a new category called the Cheap Eats Hall of Shame. This is reserved for products which seem to hit a significant number of no-nos as far as cheap eats concerned as well as presenting other problems. Take for instance CAVIAR. Never mind the prices which we will get to. Although, there have been some strides in looking into alternatives to true caviar which is Sturgeon Roe (fish eggs), this delicacy is still frowned upon by environmental groups as a non-sustainable form of aquaculture.

I think in the old days sturgeon (which is a prehistoric looking fishing that grows extremely slowly and can reach huge lengths) were just killed in huge numbers for their eggs without a thought to the populations. Indeed, I read somewhere that it was common to have big bowls of it sitting around in bars for FREE. Nowadays, there are heavy restrictions in effect in the U.S. and in many places abroad. Different kinds of caviar include Beluga, Oestra, Sevruga which come from overseas mostly near Russia or Iran, and domestic types like White Sturgeon, Montana Golden Whitefish, Paddlefish, Chum Salmon caviars. (Some of those varieties like paddlefish aren’t “true” caviar but attempts at finding sustainable substitutes)

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Grocery shopping is a huge pain to a lot of people and it can be especially painful if your food budget gets trashed everytime you set foot in the supermarket. The temptation to buy all these newfangled snacks and frozen convenience foods is so high when shopping in a grocery store; not to mention the lure of the Candy aisles and shelves at the checkout. So coming up with a few rules is a good idea before attempting to get the week’s shopping done. Smart grocery shopping is more than just using a grocery list and coupons. So without further ado here are 10 tips on smarter grocery shopping. I’m sure there are many more than these 10 but these are the 10 that I thought of off the top of my head:

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I hesitate to call this a true Oyster Poorboy because the oysters aren’t deep fried or rolled in cornmeal or any of that other stuff. Plus I make it using oysters from a can. It’s more like an oyster sandwich. I find that it tastes really good though, and I can do with the flour-only coating. Depending on where you live, you are probably able to get oysters that are better tasting, fresher, and cheaper, but for me the can is the only easy way to go. I think they may come in jar too. By the way, oysters are a pretty much self-sustainable, non-polluting form of aqua-culture. I believe it’s one of the few like that. So you can eat your oyster sandwich and feel good about the environment… well, maybe.

Homemade Oyster Poorboy

Can of Oysters (1 small can) — $2.50
French Bread (1 small loaf) — $0.25
Mayo (1-2 tbsp of $2.00 jar) — $0.08
Parsley (1/4 cup chopped from $0.69 bunch) — $0.06
Flour (1/4 cup from $1.50 bag) — $0.03
Corn Oil (2 tbsp from $2.00 bottle) — $0.05
Salt / pepper — negligible

Total: $2.97

Chop parsley fine. Mix in small bowl with mayonnaise, add a bit of salt if you like. Drain the oysters from the can (save the oyster liqueur if you want). In a ziploc bag put in the flour, salt, pepper. Dump the oysters in there, seal and shake a bit. Heat oil in a nonstick pan. In meantime, put cut a pocket in the french bread and toast it if you like. When oil is hot, fry oysters until golden brown. Dry them on paper towel lined plate. Spread some mayo mixture on bread and shove as many oysters as you can in there. Sandwich is done.

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Part 2 : Banquet Salisbury Steak Meal
After that pretty much excellent experience with Banquet’s Chicken Nugget Meal I was all ready to be wowed by another dollar offering of theirs. The Salisbury Steak, to my disappointment is neither satisfying nor cheap. In general, I think most people could make something similar with one hand tied behind their back, and for just as cheap. What’s so hard about Salisbury Steak? Get some frozen ground beef, throw in some spices, shape it, fry it, deglaze pan, make gravy. Probably for about 50 cents.

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I haven’t had frozen dinner for what seems like ages because while they are extremely convenient to have in the freezer, nine times out of ten they are overpriced. Cheap Eats doesn’t place as much emphasis on convenience or portability. However, a friend had mentioned that he always got Banquet Frozen Dinners at the market at the price of TEN for $10.00. I’d been interested in trying it out, but was reluctant to test out TEN dinners. After all if they were really terrible, there went ten bucks!

But then last week I saw that they were selling the Banquet Frozen Dinners for $1 each, with no maximum (nor minimum) number needed. So I went ahead and got three of them to run through the Cheap Eats ringer. This is a three part series of reviews, and might even run more if the dinners are any good!

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