12/21/05 | Kraft Cheese Crumbles
[ Currently Eating: Pork Chop Rice ]
It takes quite a bit for me to banish a particular product to the Cheap Eats Hall of Shame. In most cases, it’s a combination of factors and not only the price of the item.
In the case of the prophetically named Kraft Cheese Crumbles (as in: that’s the way the cookie crumbles) the thing that put it over the top was the commercial on TV that I just saw. I have NO idea what marketing was thinking when they gave the thumbs up to what must be the WORST butchering of a rewritten – for – commerical song.
The song in question is one-hit wonder EMF’s “Unbelievable”. I find it quite Unbelievable that they decided in the chorus to replace the syllable “Un” with “CRUMB”. Yeah, you’re “Crumbelievable“. I kid you not. They sing this line with gusto, nay with absolute JOY throughout most of the commerical.
I never liked the EMF song that much anyhow… but it’s just the cheesy (pun intended) way that it was mangled in order to get the product word embedded in it that got to me. I have resorted to keeping the remote close by so that I can MUTE the stupid song whenever that commercial comes on. That’s how much it offends. And can you imagine somehow who actually LIKED that song. They’d be out for blood.
Ok, so buffoons that the ad agency that created this commerical may be… what about the actual product itself? Cheese Crumbles. Sounds vaguely appetizing… if it were a chip or cracker. Nope. Kraft Cheese Crumbles are oddly shaped bits and crumbs of cheese. I sort of think of when you’re grating a block of cheese and you always end up with a tiny bit that you don’t want to run through the grater for fear of shredding your fingers. That little bit, to me at least, is a Cheese Crumble. And that’s what’s in the bag.
Ok, so let’s just say I had use for cheese crumbles… say like blue cheese crumbles in a salad. How hard is it to do it yourself? Why would I pay the extra money for the convenience of someone pre-crumbling my cheese. You can just get a block of cheese and do it yourself. I’m not a big fan of pre-shredded cheese in general; it tends to be more dried out and it’s more expensive. Convenience be damned… this is Cheap Eats.
I can’t tell you how the cheese actually tastes (though I do like many other Kraft products) because there’s no way I’m buying these crummy, song-butchering crumbles…
Cheap Eats Score: 1/10