2/20/06 | New Doritos Bag
[ Currently Eating: Ooooolong Tea ]
You may have to avert your gaze from the bag of Doritos in order to prevent burning holes in your retinas. Boy, the color of the packaging is fiery. This is actually the original Nacho Cheese flavor of Doritos but I almost thought I had bought a “Flaming” variety. I know the design isn’t super new but I saw it at Target the other day and decided to pick it up because it was fairly cheap at $2 as far as name-brand chips go. Plus, I had a gift card, so it turned out free…
The new packaging for Doritos (I’m sure it’s new because of the words “New Look, Same Great Taste” are featured prominently on the front) basically screams out shiny red and orange colors “Hey, buy me, you lame ass shopper!” It worked on me I guess, but that was because I hadn’t seen this bag design before. I sort of liked the old school Doritos bag with the see through packaging and slightly less seizure-inducing colors. It was just more friendly.
An interesting note: I’ve been trying to figure out what that “fire-squiggle” on the front is. The best I can come up with is that it’s supposed to represent your EKG reading just before your heart stops from eating too many chips. Or maybe it’s a subliminal chicken scrawl that is beaming the message, “It’s OK to have orange colored, stinky-sock odor fingertips while you’re eating Doritos.”
Yep, Doritos, Cheetos and all those deeelicious “cheese-powder” snacks have that habit of distributing unwanted orange dust on your fingers. I have tried eating Doritos with a spoon and also with chopsticks, but it’s just not the same. Chip bags are funny in that the more you eat and the lower the level of chips in the bag drops, the more orange powder you tend to get all over your hands. This is because you have to reach deeper into the bag to grab chips. One way to minimize cheese powder on your hands is to cut the top of the bag clean off with scissors once you get deep enough into the bag.
Another method (I haven’t yet tried this) is to open a new bag to take the excess air out, seal it up and then take a rock and pound the hell out of the chips. Then, pour it into a cereal bowl and eat it with a spoon. This seems promising in a ghetto sort of way, but I can’t bring myself to waste a bag testing it.
As far as looks and taste of the actual chips go… I don’t think it’s changed much. I seem to recall there actually being more cheese powder on these Doritos chips, though that could be my imagination.
The chips are still the same crunchy, corn triangles. Definitely not rocket science for chips, but strangely conforting. T I think that the walls of civilization would come crumbling down if they changed the shape of Doritos. I think the shape of Doritos is ingrained in our collective subconciousness. I think the next world war will be fought between the different factions of the pro-Cool-Ranch and the pro-Nacho-Cheese contingents.
I think I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, and will thusly end this review now.
Price: $2.00
Bought at: Target
Cheap Eats Score: 6/10
February 20th, 2006 at 1:24 pm
You are SO wrong here.
Doritos were sent to us by The Higher Being. It is Food Of, and BY, the Gods.
When I was living in Italy, and my parents were coming over to visit me for three weeks, what do you think I asked them to bring me? My winter clothes? Books in English? Tokens from my loved ones?
NO!!!
They brought over my biggest suitcase, filled with bags of Doritos, lovingly hand-carried through customs, always conscious of the delicacy of the ephemeral chips, to my destination in Rome.
That was the happiest moment of my life.
I need a tissue now.
February 20th, 2006 at 7:01 pm
I’m a Dorito purist, I only like the nacho cheese flavor. Mmm Doritos! And you made me smile remembering what the old school bags of Doritos used to look like. Good times!
I also cut off the chip bag as the contents decrease. I can’t stand having to dig through miles of bag for a chip. LOL
February 21st, 2006 at 7:10 am
The finger-mess problem is pretty much the only reason why I stay away from Doritos, and their other cheesy brethren. Don’t get me wrong, as chips go they have a great flavor, but the obsessive-compulsive in me can’t stand the orange-finger effect, especially not when there are so many other good chips out there– particularly the delicious tortilla chip– which don’t give you anything more than a little innoffensive salt on your fingertips. Of course, this is probably partially due to the fact that I’m always doing something else while snacking that requires my hands, either reading or drawing. It’s kind of interesting how your snack preferences may be effected depending on whether or not you snack while doing something that demands your hands, or just watching TV. I’m sure it makes a big difference for many people.
That bag is pretty darned hideous *shudders*.
February 21st, 2006 at 8:41 am
peggasus – hee… I see you like your Doritos.
andie – i have also tried pouring the Doritos directly into my mom but I end up with chips all over the floor and a face full of cheese powder. That stuff burns your eyes, man.
karen – yeah, I think I suffer from Doritos OCD as well. The cheese powder bugs me enough so that I pour the Doritos on the plate and keep a napkin nearby to wipe my fingers every so often. Every so often I get up from watching TV to go wash my fingers. I only use one hand as well, so the other one can surf the remote without getting cheeese on it.
February 21st, 2006 at 10:57 am
that was a good review, the last paragraph especially. i don’t usually buy chips because i don’t consider them to be ‘cheap eats’. every now and then tho i get an urge for something cheesy and/or salty like doritos or some other kind of chip. they taste real good. as far as stuff on your fingers, that’s part of the deal.
February 21st, 2006 at 11:53 am
jim – yep on Chips not equal to Cheap Eats.
February 21st, 2006 at 2:59 pm
Cheap Eats, please tell me you meant “mouth”. LOL Instead of: andie – i have also tried pouring the Doritos directly into my mom…
LOL
February 21st, 2006 at 3:06 pm
andie – ahahaha! that is truly LOL… Yeah I meant mouth. My mom doesn’t like doritos at all. this is a lesson to actually read what i’m typing!
February 24th, 2006 at 7:23 am
me love doritos me stick them in wierd places!
June 9th, 2006 at 9:06 pm
I’m too young to remember those bags of which you speak, but I love when I see the trucks with chip bags put on them (like 18 wheelers) and they have an old Doritos bag. Hehe!!!
And I think I am going to go pour some Doritios directly into my mom… hehe, that was sooo funny!
August 10th, 2006 at 6:49 am
“I’m a Dorito purist, I only like the nacho cheese flavor.” – Andie
Andie, you’re a fkn idiot. Where’s your imagination and sense of adventure? Why don’t you just get an IV drip and kill yourself with liquid cheese? I mean, I LOVE cheese, but common, so many excellent Doritos flavours can’t go to waste.
September 6th, 2006 at 4:26 pm
I worked with a woman who loved the cheese powder…she would save it after a bag of Doritos was gone and consolodate the crumbs into one bag until it was full. Jesus Christ himself only knows what she would do with the powder after collecting it for months. We didnt call her Lips McGee for nothing!
October 19th, 2006 at 5:45 pm
what did the old dorito bag look like? could you post a picture of that, too? I am interested.
November 18th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
I love doritos and im from california