2/6/07 | Bryan Tamales
[ Currently Eating: Leftover Curry ]
ADDED: 7/29/07 - It’s come to my attention that some products with the “Bryan” name are being recalled. I never heard anything about it until a few days ago, and don’t have any information about it, but here is the link to the FDA site. Bryan’s Tamales do not seem to be on the list, but their Chili is.
All right, I have to admit that I’m one of those narcissistic people who can’t resist the allure of seeing their name on products. Remember those “mini license plates” that they sell at airports and other places? Yes, I bought one. I get a special thrill whenever I also pass by a dry cleaners called Bryan’s Cleaners. Yep, guilty. And lame.
But I guess if your name happens to be Carl or Sara Lee or Marie Callender it’s not going to be such a big deal. And I think part of the thrill is that the spelling of my name is maybe not as common so I don’t see it in print as often - I’ve all but accepted having friends (some who I’ve known for something like TEN YEARS) write my name with an “I”.
So I just had to pick up this can of Bryan Tamales, if only for the novelty. According to the can, I am apparently“THE FLAVOR OF THE SOUTH”. Woot.
I almost wasn’t expecting to eat the contents of this can because I figured it must be pretty awful - somewhere below the quality of Chef Boyardee, just above the quality of pet food. You get the picture.
Interestingly, the instructions on the back of the can call for placing the tamales in the oven topped with a FULL can of Bryan’s Chili (note to self: look for my chili next time I’m at Big Lots) and then topping with sour cream, onions and cheese.
Well hell… of course it’s going to taste good if you put all that on it. I think that must be Corollary 4.2.2 of the Cheap Eats Manifesto - Everything Tastes Better With Chili Or Cheese On It. No, I decided to cook them up au naturale.
I’m actually surprised how these turned out. I’m no stranger to tamales so I figured they wouldn’t be able to pull a fast one on me. C’mon, tamales from a CAN?
There were six of these little corn logs wedged into the can, each about an inch wide and 4-5 inches long. I must admit I underestimated just how much you can stuff into a can. My initial worry was that even if they tasted decent there wouldn’t be enough of it to make a meal out of it.
There was an average amount of red sauce in the can along with the tamales and the instructions said to spoon it over them to keep them from drying out. Interestingly, each of the individual tamales was actually wrapped, though not in corn husk of course. It’s that wax paper or whatever they use. You have to unwrap each tamale, which takes some doing.
I laid them out in a casserole and popped them in the oven for a bit. They came out looking and tasting pretty decent. Not supernaturally decent, like wake up all the ghosts in my gut decent. I mean good enough to be an emergency lunch.
The corn masa of the tamales was average, though a bit heavy on the oil or fat. The inner “meat paste” is such that it blends into the cornmeal. That is, it is sometimes difficult to detect where the cornmeal ends and the meat begins. But nothing severely was wrong with it - I mean there was no surprise bits of horn, hoof or skull. Just beef meat paste.
The sauce tasted closer to chili than the sauce you’d find on normal tamales - that might be the reason they suggest dumping a friendly can of chili on top.
All in all, it was surprisingly good although my arteries gave a little “tsk-tsk” as I was taking the pan out of the oven. This can’t possibly be very good for you. But I have to say these namesake canned tamales exceeded my expections. Oh, and remember I said I was going to have it au naturale? I lied. Because corollary 4.2.3 is that “Everything Tastes Better With Sour Cream On It”.
Price:$1 - 15 oz. can
Found At:Big Lots
Cheap Eats Score: 7/10
February 6th, 2007 at 10:40 am
Uhhhh, thanks but no thanks. That shit looks nasssty. Look at all the grease floating around in that picture. And nobody should ever have to type, or eat, something called ‘beef meat paste.’ And what kind of tamale is an inch wide? Ewwwww……..
C’mon, Bryan, you live in California! Surely you have access to better tamales than this! I’ll pass.
P.S. I like your name. It was on our short list when I was pregnant.
February 6th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Tom Tom tamales are not greasy like those things. I can’t stand the can/jar tamales. But I do agree that everything tastes better with sour cream on it. It is the food of the gods.
February 7th, 2007 at 12:18 am
1. I didn’t know these existed
2. $1 for a pound of tamales is both exciting and disturbing
3. WTF?! Tamales in a can?
I would try these out of morbid curiosity, but I live in Santa Ana, CA…home of all things Mexican. I would get shot if I were caught with these.
February 7th, 2007 at 4:19 pm
I tried the Hormel one’s and those are tasty, except for the plastic skin they come in.
I’m a big fan of REAL Tamales, and those can never be replaced.
The sour cream idea is good though, I’ll have to test that.
February 7th, 2007 at 10:25 pm
I’m guessing that there’s probably 2,000 mg of sodium per can. Wait! I don’t think I want to know.
Please don’t tell me the nutritional facts. Please don’t tell me the nutritional facts. I’m not listening. Lalalalalalala.
February 8th, 2007 at 1:22 am
These have been around for a while in Houston. Wait.. yes, my grandmother used to have these in her cubbard. Her brand didn’t taste too bad though.
February 8th, 2007 at 10:03 am
I remember those from college. We used to put a can of Wolf Brand Chili ($1 on sale) and some black olives on top (store brand, $1 for the small can) with some jalapenos and bake them. If we could afford it, we’d put sour cream and sharp cheddar on top. Then we’d eat it with tortilla chips like a dip. Mmmm. Study food.
February 9th, 2007 at 7:28 am
Holy crap “meat paste” and “corn logs” should not ever be used again. Bryan you are a brave brave man to willingly eat such stuff. LOL Does your wife try them with you or is this a solo adventure?
February 11th, 2007 at 12:26 am
I have to admit that I would buy something if it was named Cybele too. I actually bought a chocolate bar in Spain called Cibeles (which I guess would be like you buying something called Brian).
March 1st, 2007 at 2:24 pm
I saw these in the Hormel brand “in chili sauce”, so I picked up a can. They weren’t too bad if you didn’t have anything else left in your pantry. They seemed to have an aquired taste. I thnk I liked them just because somewhere in the back of my mind I remember eating them when I was a child.
March 9th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
You are all far too timid and easily put off by semantics. I, too, was enthralled by the notion of amazingly cheap tamales in a can, and my verdict is the same as that of everyone WHO ACTUALLY TRIED THEM: they’re not half bad, and they’re incredibly affordable. Not to mention infinitely storable.
The liquid is sauce, by the way, not grease. Yeah, they may not be something you want to base your diet around, but that means so very little.
Bryan’s, by the way, is definitely “The Flavor of the South.” It’s funny to me that this is your first brush with them, because in Mississippi, where I grew up, they were a big-time hot dog brand.
July 24th, 2007 at 12:38 am
I haven’t had tamales in a can in ages. I remember them being quite edible, although I’ve never tried Bryan’s. The real reason I’m commenting, however, is because I wanted to similarly complain about having…”friends (some who I’ve known for something like TEN YEARS) write my name with a ‘Y.’” WTF!??
July 27th, 2007 at 1:38 pm
Maybe you should now worn people about the Bryan Chili recalled because of botulism - look it up! You said the can of tamales asks people to coat the tamale with the chili.
July 29th, 2007 at 9:32 am
I have received information that some Bryan products have beeen recalled because of some of the ingredients are harmful when consumed. Bryan’s Beef Tamales were no included in this recall. Can you tell me if this pdroduct should have been included in this recall?
October 16th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
Woohoo recalled food! Makes it even more a gamble to try…