Cheap Eats at Bloglander

6/2/09 | Yoo-Hoo



[ Currently Eating: Bánh Cuốn ]

Yoo-Hoo - Cheap Eats at Bloglander

Oh, wonderful innocence and naivete for consumables. You have been lost in the hallowed halls of time. It pains me to say this, but Yoo-Hoo is not really chocolate milk. ‘Tis a chocolate drink.

Boo-hoo.

Well, actually it’s been awhile since I realized that not all “chocolate milk” is really chocolate milk. I would say that it occured somewhere between the time I found out Santa Claus was not REALLY a jolly red and white, coke-gulping senior citizen with a facial hair problem, and the time I discovered that the Rock ‘n’ Roll Express tag team were not in fact double-dropkicking their opponents fo’ reals.

Yes, Virginia – wrestling is fake.

In any case, it’s not like they say anywhere on the box that Yoo-hoo is actually chocolate milk. And it does contain non-fat dry milk. And it has whey – uh, better known as milk plasma. You know, little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffett eating her curds and milk plasma.

Tee-hee.

Still, I have good interesting memories with the Yoo-hoo drink. I remember having them at baseball games. Yes, we were the team that always won the championships. However, I was not the player who always hit or caught the ball. In fact, I think I was more concerned with the quality and quantity of the refreshments that parents bought to the games. Oh Kevin’s mom – you think you can get away bringing that fake Pic’n’Save Kool-aid crap to the game?

Hell-no.

There were a few parents who insisted on bringing Yoo-hoo to the game. When I first tried it, I thought it tasted like Chocolate Spit. I dunno, something to do with the amount of HFCS, xanthum gum or corn syrup solids, but it had a really gummy taste to it. Not to mention the fakey chocolate milk taste. Eventually, I grew to learn to drink it, but I was never a big fan. Then again, I never really liked pre-mixed chocolate milk. It had to be the kind you poured and mixed yourself. Nestlé Quik rabbit coming at ya full force.

Boo-yah!

Yoo-Hoo - Cheap Eats at Bloglander

If you fast-forward, I hadn’t probably had a sip of Yoo-hoo in 25 years. So when I saw this 3 pack at the store I had to pick it up for a buck. These seemed to be seriously small containers at 6.5 ounces each. But I guess it’s about half a can of soda or so. Maybe it’s better it’s such a small package, considering the waist sizes of Americans today.

With my new adult taste buds, I was a little more forgiving of the flavor. In addition, it could be my imagination, but it seems to feel less mucous-like than before. (Side Note: someone needs to make a product called Mucilage Milk. I would try it.) I did make the mistake of drinking this at room temperature first. The flavor improved greatly when I chilled it. Speaking of drinking it at room temperature – apparently Yoo-hoo is known to have a (and I quote from Wikipedia) “famously open-ended shelf life” for a milk product. Mine actually did have “best if used by” dates of April 25, 2010. Actually when I first read the date, I thought it said April 2510! That would be some really old milk product.

Moo-cow.

I’m also rather glad that they haven’t gone the “sugar-free” route. I can’t stand the mouthfeel that fakey sugar substitute drinks of any kind inflict on your tongue. Yes, yes Diet Dr. Pepper is still fake Dr. Pepper to me. Yoo-hoo does have a little bit of an aftertaste, but I don’t think that’s due to the sweetener. Especially seeing as how real honest to goodness delicious High Fructose Corn Syrup is the second ingredient on the box list.

I guess I wasn’t terribly disappointed with Yoo-hoo after so many years. If anything, my impression of this faux chocolate milk has improved slightly. However, my baseball skills have not. In fact, I am currently being chosen next to last whenever the guys get together for softball games during the holidays. This is OK with me since I have gained the secret knowledge that prowess with the bat occurs as a semi-compensation for personal “bat-length”.

Po-Tweet.

Price: $1.00 for 3 boxes (6.5 oz ea)
Found At: Dollar Store
Cheap Eats Score: 5/10

[Editor's Note: Man, I was trying to work in some Imperial Teen into this article, but then I realized no one would no what I was talking about... ... ... ... see what I mean?]

5 Responses to “Yoo-Hoo”

PLEASE DO NOT SUBMIT YOUR COMMENT MULTIPLE TIMES!!!!!!!! (All comments are moderated. So if you don't see your comment appear right away, don't resubmit it multiple times.)
  1. Andrea (Off Her Cork) Says:

    Oh man I loved Yoo-hoo! When I was in middle school, I had to walk to and from school and it was a long ass way. I stopped by a deli to pick up some yoo-hoo and a bag of onion rings when I had the cash. Good times!

    And we always had Nesquik in the house! Old school style with the metal containers you had to pop open with your spoon. :D

  2. Marvo Says:

    Ovaltine FTW!

    I didn’t drink much Yoo-hoo growing up. I did drink a lot of Chocolate Soldier and Quik (before it was called Nesquik).

  3. Cheap Eats Editor Says:

    @andrea – I remember those metal containers! Awesome, I need to go and check if my mom still has the same one – apparently she used to refill the old container…

    @marvo – OMG I have too many Ovaltine stories to tell. Mostly my brother eating an entire jar with a spoon and getting hives, plus 10,000% RDA of various vitamins, haha… Chocolate Soldier – I’ve heard of it, but I’m not sure if I had it before.

  4. chuck in chicago Says:

    Never had Yoo-hoo as a kid, being an Ovaltine or a Quik fan myself, but I did try it once a couple of years ago. I won’t make THAT mistake again! It tasted like a weak, chocolate-flavored version of Liquid Paper!

  5. Megan Says:

    Imperial Teen rocks… Roddy Bottum of FNM fame :) He has a twitter, btw. And it’s quite entertaining usually.




Archives

Links

Recommended Reads