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Spag Shapes - Cheap Eats at Bloglander

I am not a pretty, pretty princess.

This is not the story of my life living with a Jamaican lobster “Under da Sea”. It’s sort of the story of A Man, a Plan, a Can – Disney Princess Spaghettios. But drat, my palindromic powers are lacking. How about “Omelette was I ere I saw Elmo?” Closer, but wrong movie. And food type.

I did not dress up last Halloween as Ariel. Sometimes I wish I did, because I probably would have gotten more candy than when I dressed up as Richard Nixon. Can you just imagine answering the door and being greeted with “Trick or treat, I’m not a crook” while holding out a bag…

I do not have the hots for Robert Pattinson. But that would be an interesting mix. I think a Disney vampire princess cartoon would sell like hotcakes. Or has that been done already…

I don’t have any posters of these Disney princesses on the wall. Parents with young daughters are rightfully quaking in their shoes at the sight of the Holy Trinity of the Disney-fied Apocalypse on this can – Ariel, Belle and Cinderella. ABC, 123, shoot me now please.

And so on.

One of the difficulties when writing product reviews, is that you’d suspect that this can of Spaghettios Shapes would practically write it’s own review. The problem is that it’s TOO easy to make fun of. It’s like shooting cans of Spam in a barrel.

There are too many inside princess jokes I’d like to spew forth, and too many pop culture references that beg to be mashed up with Spaghettios lore. So what happens is that I start to ramble, to sling those fine Dungeons and Dragons asides. I become comfortably incomprehensible. And inevitably, it turns into one of THOSE reviews.

But I promised myself I wouldn’t do that this time. The only way I can find to mute the mouth is to show a bunch of pictures of the product. It takes up room in the post and makes me feel like I’ve written more than I actually have.

Anyhow, there’s not much more to say on the taste of Spaghettios. We’ve reviewed them before, and once you’ve tasted one can, you’ve tasted them all. The only difference is whether they include meatballs, and what shape the extruded noodles are in. Marketing and packaging – that’s all it is.

Spag Shapes - Cheap Eats at Bloglander

This first thing I have to say about the packaging is that I think something is wrong with the above sentence. But I can’t figure it out. “Cool shapes shaped pasta in tomato and cheese sauce.” Maybe I’m wrong – after all I just write written reviews about cans of canned food.

Spag Shapes - Cheap Eats at Bloglander

There was a surprising diversity of shapes in the can – however, I was disappointed to note that perhaps 50 percent of the shapes were simple “O’s”. Man, if you’re going to go through the trouble of promoting the Disney movies, why not include omit those O shapes? Because (as a future reader will no doubt write in to tell me) then you couldn’t call it Spaghettios any more. And there goes your brand name.

Beyond the shapes, everything else was pretty much what you’d expect. Inhalable noodles in a sweet orange sauce. When I was heating this up in a pot, I was already prepared to be disappointed by the lack of pasta shapes that actually corresponded to the pictures on the can. The shapes that I saw on first glance looked nothing like princesses, castles, carriages or crowns. OK, maybe the crown did look accurate. They looked pretty unrecognizable. I could see why this was on clearance for 90 cents.

Spag Shapes - Cheap Eats at Bloglander

I wouldn’t have blamed them if they didn’t include ALL the “Seven Enchanting Princess Shapes.” After all, who’s going to keep track of stuff like that? What kind of idiot would actually sit there carefully pick the different noodle shapes out of boiling spaghetti sauce? What kind of OCD maniac would try and identify each of the shapes, set them aside on a plate and try to take a photo of them in the same configuration as the picture on the can?

Spag Shapes - Cheap Eats at Bloglander

Price: $.90 for 15 oz.
Found At: Ralph’s
Cheap Eats Score: 4/10

[Editor's Note: I actually have a soft spot for Ariel since this was the first movie my wife and I ever saw together. Uh, I think that was 20 years ago. But no, I still won't put up a Little Mermaid poster on the wall. Also, yes I know the "Carriage" noodle shape above is rotated clockwise 90 degrees. I did that on purpose as a silent protest against the death of carriages.]

10 Responses to “Disney Princess Spaghettios”

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  1. Rissa Says:

    You’ve got the carriage sideways :P

  2. Cheap Eats Editor Says:

    @rissa I guess you didn’t see the Editor’s Note? =)

  3. cavale Says:

    oh wow. poor ariel and her super smooshed face.

  4. Yvo Says:

    LOL omg I started cracking up reading the editor’s note and when I read “that was like 20 years ago” my face screwed up angrily and I thought “that was NOT f*cking 20 years ago, I was in 4th grade!” and then I realized I turn 29 this year so that makes it 20 years ago and now I’m all sad that I can’t leave an indignant response about how you can’t do math because I am not that old… sigh.

  5. Orchid64 Says:

    Wow, those shapes are impressively lame! I guess it was tough to recreate them in pasta, but still!

  6. Andrea (Off Her Cork) Says:

    Princess Spaghettios. There’s a joke in there somewhere but this early in the morning, I’m not finding it! Ariel did get a bit squished. I have to give them credit for the shapes even if they do seem a bit strange. :p

    20years, dang how long have you all been together?! That’s fabbo!

  7. tim Says:

    Ick. The Disney Princess Cult is now spreading to the grocery store shelves. The color pink is forever associated with Pepto Bismal, and I for one wouldn’t want to eat anything from a package sporting that horrendous hue.

  8. EW Says:

    If it wasn’t for the chart on the can I never would have known what they were.

    Also, Ariel is a hottie. Jasmine too.

  9. Wanda Says:

    Thanks for the chuckle.

    Isn’t this just a sign of the times though – churn out unappetizing food, shove it in a can and try to convince everyone that they really should eat it because the Disney Princesses or Spiderman or whatever endorse it.

    And although there are lots of people who wont be sucked into buying this product, there are many who will succumb to the pressure of their kids – to whom of course the packaging is aimed at.

    Once again, thanks for the chuckle.

  10. Cheap Eats Editor Says:

    @cavale – Totally – I would be very angry if I were these ladies and they manufactured profiles of my “not so good side”.

    @yvo, @andrea – yes, hard to believe that was 20 years ago! We were in high school when that came out. Haven’t been together for 20 years, and married for only 10, but that’s a Disney tale for another day =)

    @orchid – I always wonder whether I should give them credit that they at least minimally try, or lambast them for corporate greed. Leaning toward the latter, but then I wouldn’t be able to write fun reviews like this…

    @tim – I would buy Disney Pepto Bismal in a HEARTBEAT! So much to write about that.

    @ew – Ariel IS kinda hot – but after they started cloning her “innocent wide-eyed mute joy” expression for all the Disney movies that followed, I sorta lost interest.

    @wanda – wait, there’s Spiderman Spaghettios!?



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