Cheap Eats at Bloglander


[ Currently Eating: Yummy Chowda ]

What.

Just because I don’t post in a few months doesn’t mean the blog is dead.

Does it?

I dunno. This is the kind of quandary (def: a state of perplexity or uncertainty over what to do in a difficult situation. origin: late 16th century, perhaps partly from Latin quando ‘when’ ) you get when you have a 6 year old formerly extremely popular blog that is struggling to make posts every 2 weeks.

Yes, yes, yes. I know it should be easy. But it’s not. And I don’t want to hear a PEEP from those johnny-come-lately bloggers who’ve started a food blog in the last 2 years who keep writing in to say, “Man, how hard is it to come up with a Cheap Eats post twice a week?”

Man, I’m in a salty mood. Mutha f…

This has become my bread and buttah, if you will. Complaining about the millions of food blogs started last year by bored housewives (I love you, housewives, but I’ve chosen Facebook) who have nothing better to do than provide Google with deliciousy content to chew upon.

Hold on, I have to pee.

Done. Well, you should be happy to note that I did bake a half ham the other day. I baked it offhandedley and capriciously, while doing the whimsical laundry, with a mustard-honey glaze. The whimsical laundry turned out the nice, according to my thesaurus. The capricious ham turned out well too, though not exactically (Alice in Wonderlandly) capricious.

So then, we had about 3 weeks worth of ham sitting around. I decided to transmogrify the ham in a Philip K. Dickensian manner into several different dishes including, but not limited to, ham and eggs, ham fried rice, ham steak, and chowda with some ham.

The latter is the subject in the photo. Preety, isn’t it? The chowda turned out nice actually, but this ham (Smithfield) wasn’t really a flavorful, smoky ham. So I had to add a few drops of artificial smoke into the mix. Incidentally, I’m thinking of starting up a business selling artificial smoke. What I think I’ll do is run around burning down various houses of ill repute, collecting the sexy artificial smoke in various vast glass globes. Then we’ll distill that down into various bottles of sexy ill reputed smoke that I’ll sell on the internet for fifty dollars a pop.

Man, I’ve certainly got a plan. And so it goes, Panama!

Seriously though, the chowder turned out fine and all was well with the world. Until I discovered I hadn’t posted on Cheap Eats for a few months. Thusly, and hencely, this post.

I’ve come to accept that there are very, very few people who understand the direction that this blog has shuddered toward. I would like to thank you personally, fondly, solicitously, lovingly, amorously (what!) and affectionately, but I would also like to say that I completely understand if you decide to slink away Gollum-like from this blog because of its demented, defective bent. Bollocks, I forgive you, and all that jazz. No problemo!

The new year is coming up, and I’ve been considering calling it quits. However, this blog just has too much traffic still to let it rest in peace. I’ll never understand blog advertisers who don’t actually read posts – but I love you anyhow. I love you personally, fondly, solicitously, lovingly and somewhat amorously. Somehow, through thick and thin and somewhat inbetween, I’ve managed to still attract a middling number of advertisers. And that’s money in my poor pocket that can’t be ignored.

Therefore, Cheap Eats will continue to make lovingly concocted food related posts every now and again.

Yasss, yass, yass as Dean would say.

2 Responses to “Happy Chowda Holidays”

PLEASE DO NOT SUBMIT YOUR COMMENT MULTIPLE TIMES!!!!!!!! (All comments are moderated. So if you don't see your comment appear right away, don't resubmit it multiple times.)
  1. Orchid64 Says:

    I don’t think anyone who actually has a food blog that is more than a year old thinks that regular posting is easy. It’s a lot of work for relatively little return monetarily. You have to do it for the love of the process (aka “writing”).

    Beyond that, I thought we (your readers) were in it for the bentness and dementia. So, carry on. ;-)

  2. Marvo Says:

    Should do food posts in haiku form. Easy to do. Here’s an example:

    Ham, Ham everywhere.
    I need to buy ham cookbook.
    Chowder forever.




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