Here is a confession.

Long ago, I used to laugh, laugh and laugh at people who said they put cut up pieces of hot dogs into macaroni in cheese.

These were the type of Jurassic-era trolls who used to hold me down on the playground and fart into my open mouth. But that’s another yarn for another day.

Anyhow, I’ve since learned the joys of using hot dogs in idiotic recipes like this one. I think I’ve actually covered this once before, but with the Eeekconomy still in the dumps, I guess some people would appreciate more recipes under $3.

This is the Hot Dog Egg Sandwich and for Cheap Eats, it rules. The great thing about hot dogs is that they’re so versatile. I know a lot of people who never eat them except for Labor Day BBQs, if at all. I’m thinking, hey if it’s a special BBQ, and there’s other great food, then why would you eat a hot dog?

I know that hot dogs aren’t the greatest thing for you since sliced California rolls. However, I think the key is moderation. If I was young, wild, and full of bullcrap, I guess I would have tattooed the word “Moderation” on my chest.

Then again, I don’t like needles. But I do like hot dogs.

In an egg sandwich like this, I find a little goes a long way. If you slice up the hot dog thinly, you can pretty much make an egg sandwich with only half a hot dog. Saving food like this is usually a good thing, but it can be a bad thing because it means you’ll use up that 10 pack of hot dogs twice as slowly. I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to eat 20 hot dog egg sandwiches in a row. But maybe it might be good if you have a big family.

Hot Dog Egg Sandwich

2 slices bread — $0.10
1 hot dog — $0.15
1 slice American cheese — $0.20
1 egg — $0.15
pepper — negligible

Total: $0.60

Get a small non-stick pan heat it up. I like to use wooden chopsticks, but feel free to wield a wooden spoon. Crack the egg, and beat it lightly into submission. Dump some pepper in if you want. Use two eggs if your cholesterol count is fine and dandy. Use three or four if you want it NOT to be fine and dandy. Slice up the hot dog thinly. I often only use a half a hot dog, because those mofos are a little salty and full of fun preservatives.

Toast up the bread slices in the toaster. Fry the hot dog slices, turning once or twice. I don’t like ‘em too burnt, but you can do whatever. Now push the hot dog slices into the corner and dump the egg on top. I like to tilt the pan so the egg stays in the corner. I also use chopsticks to make sure all the runny egg contacts with the pan. You only need to cook it for a few minutes or so. If you’re a fancy chef who’s good at flipping stuff, flip the egg over. If you’re not, just cook it longer.

Stick a slice of cheese on top. You can cover it, but I usually just let it go a few seconds more and then remove it to the toast. When you cover up the egg w/ the other slice of bread, it usually melts enough.

Sit back, turn on your favorite morning TV show, and eat your hot dog egg sandwich.

You’re basically making fast fritatta containing no vegetables and only hot dogs. If this bothers you, and it should, then by all means throw in some leftover bell pepper, broccoli, onion, olives artichoke, nuts, bolts, kewpie dolls, pictures of Dorian Gray, etc. You’ll want to cook the veggies before the hotdogs if raw. Oh, sometimes I stick a slice of lettuce in it for appearances sake.

I had a moral to this recipe/story. But unfortunately, it has been obliterated by years and years of Jurassic-era trolls holding me down on the playground and farting into my open mouth. All that meethane has gone to mee head.

One, two, three, four, five, hot dog egg sandwich yum.