Mm.. Crunch ‘n Munch. To make a short story longwinded, I was casting about trying to think of something to review for Earth Day. Something that would really speak to the heart of the matter about Us destroying the ozone and whatnot. I was going to be a real Green Hero by calling attention to the plight of Mother Earth.

Instead, as usual I caved to the pressure of cheap, preprocessed food bought at the Dollar Store. Truth be told, awhile back I stocked up on a number of different Cheap Eats items at the Dollar Store to review (the people who work there must think I’m insane buying all that random food). I guess Earth Day can wait another week. Not that I don’t think about the state of the environment.

So, about the Crunchity ‘n Munchity… I was going to insert a joke here about people having the “munchies” after ingesting the afterburn from certain plants, but since this is a family friendly website I decided against it.

I’ve been eating Crunch ‘n Munch, since the 70s or so. Made by ConAgra (who bought the rights from Franklin Nut Company?), this is pretty much in a similar vein to Cracker Jack and Fiddle Faddle. I’m not sure what it going on with the rhyming in all three of those names.

Cracker Jack is probably the most traditional and popular of the three, and for some reason I don’t think I’ve reviewed it yet. I’ll probably try get a hold of some if I can find it for cheap. Fiddle Faddle - I know it’s similar and I used to eat it that back in the day as well . For the life of me, I can’t remember how it was different than Crunch ‘n Munch - I think maybe it didn’t have any peanuts?

The Crunch ‘n Munch formula is basically clusters of sugar syrup coated popcorn with peanuts embedded in them. I got the “Caramel” variety which is different than the original flavor of Buttery Toffee. They also have an almond version of it.

I have to say that I was pretty pleasantly surprised with the flavor and quality. A side note: everyone thinks that stuff at the Dollar Store is “past it’s prime” and that’s how they can sell it for cheap. But so far, I haven’t had too many instances where the product was not fresh. This box of Crunch ‘n Munch tasted pretty fresh to me.

Continue reading “Crunch ‘n Munch” …

Oh boy, sorry about the delay with the postingness this week. I was too busy trying to locate the dirty nickels and dimes under the backseat of the Dodge so that I’d have enough coinage to purchase the prime real estate being offered for sale next to the Hollywood sign. I plan on setting up a competing sign that says “Cheap Eats” right next to it in order to get the word out. It’s only 22 million. My word, that’s pocket change after all the cash I saved eating ramen for dinner this year.

In other news, (the kind that’s based more on things like Reality) the actual reason I’m late is… I was planning on reviewing this little can of Armour Vienna Sausage that I got this week at the Dollar Store. Yes, yes - I know everyone’s shopping at these 99 Cent stores now that there’s a recession. But I got distracted by the prospect of writing a parody of Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Raven” wherein I substitute the “Nevermore” lines with “Dollar Store.” Thusly:

“Once upon a midnight dreary,
While I crammed, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious Cup ‘O Noodles.
Bored, while I nodded, nearly snacking,
Suddenly there came a crackling,
As of Twinkies gently unwrapping,
unwrapping at my dormroom door.
“‘Tis some dude,” I muttered,
“Wanting snacks implores, ‘Hey —
Let’s go to, the Dollar Store’”

Wow, that’s just too much effort to write stuff like that. I don’t know how Alton does it - oh that’s right, he has a gazbillion dollar budget.

Actually, that wasn’t the only reason this review is late. The real reason is that I’ve been staring with trepidation at that stolid little can of Frankenstein Franks on my desk for days now. For some reason, this time around I just didn’t have the courage to pull the tab on top. It didn’t help that somehow I picked out a can that had dents on it. Usually, I’m really careful about checking cans for dents but this one snuck through.

Finally, I got up the nerve to open the can and was greeted by the following wonderful geometrical meat-log layout:

Boy, they sure cram them in there. Not a millimeter to spare between the snausages. I was actually quite impressed they could fit 7 of the 2 inch logs in the can. I had a bit of a time getting them out without damaging them sort of had to tilt the can upside down and shake, like you do with Spam.

They were so tightly packed in there that they were stuck together a bit. This is rather nice and dramatic for taking pictures, as seen above. It’s almost like - cut fingers. Man, I needed to wipe that thought out of my head before tasting them.

I’m familiar with Vienna sausages - I always thought of them as Earthquake food. If you don’t live in California, you probably don’t know what I’m talking about. Well, it’s a good idea to keep a cache of canned food, water and a safety kit in several places in the house (and at work, and in your car) just in case The Big One™ doth strike.

The more preservatives in the food - the better. Otherwise, you’re going to have replace those cans every few years. Or not, I guess. Twinkies…

Anyhow, they’re made of chicken, beef and pork in chicken broth. I won’t begin to speculate on what parts of the three various animals are used. To me, they’re very similar to hot dogs in ingredients. However, they’ve got a “special” smell that’s hard to describe. If you’ve ever had Corned Beef Hash from a can, that’s what it smells like. Maybe also similar to Spam. My advice: Do Not Stop to Smell the Sausages. No. Proceed to mouth, pass go, and collect your $200.

The consistency is also a bit different than hot dogs. There is no “snap” whatsoever when you bite into one. It’s like a paté or something. It’s not as “fatty” as spam is. The taste is - well, interesting. I want to say it’s sort of bologna-ish. But not as good. Armour claims that they are the #1 brand of Vienna Sausage in America. All I can say is, I sure would not like to taste the #3 or #4 brand…

There is some occasional speck of “grit” you’ll notice when eating these. I was wondering if it’s ground up bone or something. I think any irregularities are more noticeable than in other meat puree products because the texture of Vienna Sausages is so fine.

To be truthful, I could only eat two of these doggies. That’s probably a good thing, since the recommended dosage is only three. And with that you get 17% of your total fat (19% of saturated fat), 14% of your cholesterol and 17% of your sodium. I ate mine at room temperature, plain. I was wondering - are there recipes for these Vienna Sausages? Is there a Vienna Sausage Cult I don’t know about? I’ve only had them plain, usually impaled on a toothpick as some sort of hors d’oeuvres. I wonder if people actually cook with them.

I don’t think they’ll be making a move into the main cupboard. For me, they’re going to remain as Earthquake Food rations. But at 50 cents for the one can, they seem like a decent buy for emergency food.

Edit: I actually fried up the remainder in a pan the next day, and I have to say they tasted a whole lot better. Still salty like heck, but if you eat it with toast or rice, it’s fine.

Price: $0.50 for 5oz can (7 sausages)
Found At: Dollar Store
Cheap Eats Score: 5/10

(Drum Roll…) And now Ladeez and Gentledudes, presenting the one and only… Ferrero Rondoir Dark Chocolates! Ta-dahh! (Cymbal Crash…)

You will have to exsqueeze me because I just spent 7.2 × 10¹² nanoseconds (two hours for the nanosecondly challenged out there) trying to come up with some sort of funny angle to talk about the nice little box of Ferrero chocolates I received in the mail.

I’ve had the normal Ferrero Rocher Chocolates before and They’re Great (a la Tony the Tiger), but I was just drawing a blank when it came to how to turn it into a Cheap Eats review.

I was going to try and work in a tennis match in there (Juan Carlos Ferrero) but I “served” up a bagel with that one. Haha. Pretty much after that I was done using my brain.

Man, I guess I’ll just present the boring facts: this is actually the new Ferrero Prestige confections assortment which comes in a handy easter egg shaped plastic case(4.8 oz of chocolates). This is rather nice for shipping as it seemed to protect the chocolate from getting damaged. The box contains three types including the newer Rondoir Dark chocolates (which they’re currently promoting on TV), the standard Rocher chocolates and the interesting white Garden Coco confections.

I was too lazy to cut them open, but if you’ve never had these Ferrero chocolates before they’re a bit different than your average chocolate truffle thingy. All of them are layer based: creamy chocolate filling holding a nut (or dark chocolate center) which is then encased in a crispy, egg shell - like wafer and coated in chocolate. The layers - it’s like a decadent Gobstopper or something.

The normal Rocher variety has a hazelnut center, chocolate cream, the wafer and then milk chocolate covered with chopped hazelnuts. The newer Rondoir has a “black pearl” of dark chocolate center surrounded by dark chocolate cream, then the wafer, topped off with dark chocolate bits. The Garden Coco has an almond center, coconut cream surrounded by the wafer and topped with a meringue and shredded coconut.

Continue reading “Ferrero Chocolates” …

Free. F-f-f-free. Phree. Fwee.

That has a wonderful sound to it, hey? It’s the sound we like to hear the most here on Cheap Eats. But, it always seems there’s a catch to free goodies. Like you have to lend your email to unscrupulous marketers. Or you have to sell out your blogging integrity to thee man. Or you have to walk around like a living sandwich-board advertisement. I haven’t tried that one yet, but the year is still young.

So, I was sent this Senseo Coffee Pod System for free the other day. Now, what is the catch? The catch is that like free cell phones, free dish/cable network installments and free magazines, they want to make it as easy possible to rope you into a monthly “subscription” based type of payment. Sure, the phone is free, but you’ll be paying them a monthly fee that will eventually eclipse the cost of the “free phone” by far.

OK, so you don’t HAVE to sign up for any coffee subscriptions. However, because you need to use the special circular coffee packets with the Senseo machine - it’s pretty similar. They’re just reducing the barrier to entry by making the machine free - getting a lifelong coffee customer is completely worth the $70.

Incidentally, even though I was sent this machine without asking, it’s not like I’m special or anything. ANYONE can signup to apply for a chance to get a free Senseo machine as of right now. You just go to the Share Senseo website and fill out a quick questionnaire. The thing is - you are signing up for a CHANCE to get a free machine. You’re not guaranteed one. Needless to say, I’m told that if you use this link instead of just typing in sharesenseo.com, your application might be, er, expedited. And no, I’m not getting a kickback for sending you to them.

Ok, back to the coffee maker. Yes, so it does require their little “coffee pods” in order to use the machine (I’m debating whether or not it’s worth the effort to try and find a way to circumvent this by “making my own”. Right now, I’m leaning toward it being too much work). Also, you should note that I am NOT a coffee snob. I’ll drink pretty much anything as long as it’s not too burnt tasting. So if you really like coffee, your mileage will vary.

The first thing I noticed about the Senseo machine is that it is really WEIRD looking. To me at least. I wasn’t used to how curved everything was. It sort of looks like a cylinder that is leaning over to touch its toes. Now, I’m all for cool and unusual design - but I have to say that I wasn’t so happy with the way the main cylinder curves over the bottom plate where you put the cup.

I noticed right away when the instructions said to first flush out the device once by putting a bowl underneath to catch the excess water. I couldn’t find a bowl that would fit on it because the curved neck wouldn’t allow a large bowl to sit there without hanging off the edge. (Note: if you do get a machine, to flush it you can simply use a large wide cup that holds at least 10 oz. and you’ll be fine.)

My next complaint is the somewhat “unwieldy” curved nature of the detachable water reservoir. The shape just really makes it awkward to fill up and carry around - it’s shaped like a curved flat cannister, maybe like a warped hip flask or flat canteen. I guess it needs to be that way because the neck is so curved - anyhow, a minor complaint.

Continue reading “Free Senseo Coffee Maker” …

Here is a confession: I did NOT use this Celeste Frozen Pizza as a frisbee or discus as I was completely intending to. No, I actually ended up eating all of it and enjoying it instead of “going the distance” off of the roof.

I have to admit I’m no pizza expert. Still, after having a surprisingly good experience with the Tony’s Deep Dish Frozen Individual Pizza that was reviewed earlier, I couldn’t resist picking up a little of “Mama” Celeste’s Pizza for One. Mama in quotes, of course. But hey, it does say “Authentic Italian Since 1930″ so there must be a real Mama, right? OK, I don’t know the history of Celeste so I shouldn’t assume that it isn’t a time honored tradition and not a sham.

Anyhow, this review is about the pizza. So I picked up two of them for a dollar each. The one I’m reviewing is the “Deluxe” and they also have plain cheese, pepperoni, and some 3 or 4 cheese blend - I can’t remember exactly. The key is that they’re normally $2 so I previously passed them over. But these were a buck so I figured I’d give it a try.

And first let me say that true Cheap Eaters are going to cringe at actually buying frozen pizza - preferring to make their own pizza at home in various ways. What can I say - I’m not a truly desperate cheap eater. Just an average joe cheap eater who’s sucked in by commercials, bargain bins, and product placement. Boo on me.

This is a 7 inch pizza that weighs about 6.5 ounces. It’s not enormous, but I felt it was decent if it’s a dollar. It comes frozen and you can microwave it or pop it in the oven. I chose the latter, but thinking about it, I should have tried the microwave method since that’s how most people would cook it. Interestingly, they include a weird gray “microwave” disc that you put the pizza on in order to have it brown better. I didn’t use it because I used the conventional oven - but I would assume it works like the gray disc grids that are on the top inside portion of the boxes of some frozen pot pies.

Continue reading “Celeste Pizza For One” …

Hello. Oh man, raise your hand if you had a hard time getting back into the swing of things last week. Yep. After overdosing on Free Family Eats and general holiday Eggnogging, I just didn’t get around to turning the blog back on. But here it is, and here’s the first review of the new year: Cheerios Snack Mix.

If you don’t believe that the “healthy breakfast and snack” market is insanely popular right now just take a look at the recent archives of the food sent in for review. It’s pretty much all cereal, health bars or healthy snacks. I guess there’s nothing wrong with going for the “turn over a new leaf” crowd.

I go back quite a long ways with my friend Cheerios - I guess their advertising got me back in the 70s. I also remember lots of parents making the homemade “Chex Mix” (not the kind you can buy pre-packaged nowadays). I’m trying to remember if the one my parents made had Cheerios in it. I think it did. I also believe it featured worcestershire sauce in it?

Anyhow, I was sent this new Cheerios Snack Mix in the Cheddar flavor the other day. First off, I want to say that I wish I was sent the “Original” flavor. Not that I don’t dig cheesy artificial goodness, but I usually like to try the basic flavor of a snack before kicking it up a notch with the cheese.

Still, this snack seemed promising. They tout it as a “balanced” snack because of the Cheerios, and like most snack manufacturers are sure to say it’s Baked and not Fried. I’m glad, because Fried Cheerios does not sound like a delicacy.

There’s 6 different kinds of snack pieces in the mix: standard multigrain Cheerios cereal, Wheat Chex, Corn Chex, triangular Cheese Crackers, “Bread Twists”, and Twist Pretzels. I’ll go through each of them in reverse order, but first let’s talk about the Cheddar powder: it tastes just like Doritos. Yep, that’s pretty much it - you’ve tasted one artificial cheese powder, you’ve pretty much got them all. Well, actually it reminded me more of the artificial cheese powder packet from Kraft Macaroni. But you know what I’m talking about.

I’m not against the taste of it, but I already thought Cheerios ‘n Cheez was going to be strange. The taste of the multigrain Cheerios with cheese powder is a little too weird for me. I think it’ll be an individual taste thing.

Continue reading “Cheerios Snack Mix” …

Sorry for the later post this week - we’ve been dealing with a feeble internet connection lately. It was too frustrating to try and make blog posts when submitting the form could send 2 hours of work into Nowhereland. When it finally got fixed, I realized I didn’t have anything lined up to talk about.

So I turned to an old standby: Pico Pica Hot Sauce.

I don’t mean that I’ve written about this before, but I’ve been meaning to make a post about it for a year or so now. I call it a standby because we always have a bottle of this sitting in the fridge. My parents always had a bottle of this in their fridge. Actually, it seems like it was the same particular bottle for about 10 years…

Although it’s currrently distributed by Juanita’s Foods, it has been in production since 1937. According to the website, it was “one of the original bottled Mexican hot sauces in Southern California.” I believe that Juanita’s is also the number one seller of Menudo (not the band, the stomach pieces) in the U.S. as well.

What I always liked about Pico Pica’s hot sauce was that it IS an old standby. I originally got into it in the 80s after I discovered it tasted remarkably like Taco Bell hot sauce. It’s a little less watery and thin than I remember Taco Bell’s being, but not as thick as some other hot sauces. It’s a blended hot sauce made primarily of red chile peppers, tomatoes and spices.

On the heat scale, it’s not unbearably hot - I can take a lot more heat than this. But it’s pleasant to eat when you’re just hungry but want to add some zing to a bland burrito. It has a mild afterburn, but I wouldn’t call it mild hot sauce. The flavor has a fairly strong cumin or chile powder scent, and a bit of a “raw” taste to it that I suspect some people might not like. I think compared to Tapatio it’s milder and less of a cumin taste to it. But I haven’t tried them side by side.

What I like about it is that it doesn’t have as much of a vinegar taste like some other hot sauces - I mean I dig dashes of Tabasco for certain things like eggs and breakfast skillets, but if you want something to pour liberally on top of your meal then I like Pico Pica better.

Continue reading “Pico Pica Hot Sauce” …